Opinion:
By Sam, (Steve "Sam" Sloan)
I am glad there are different names for CNM/Polyamory.
Consensual Non-monogamy (CNM) is a great term
CNM puts consent first. That’s good. What I don’t like (for me) is that it’s a definition that requires defining something else. That is, defining monogamy.
Monogamy is defined by Oxford Languages as, “The practice or state of being married to one person at a time.” Or, “the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner.” Or, “the habit of having only one mate at a time.” None of these definitions are very inclusive of asexuals or queerplatonic relationships, or folks whose experience includes loving romantic but not sexual relationships.
Polyamory is a great term
Polyamory comes from the Greek word "Poly" which means many and "Amory" which means "Love" so the word Polyamory means "many love." As Sophie Lucido Johnson said in her (highly underrated) book Many Love, "...to me, polyamory is not about sex at all. It's not "many sex" it's "many love."" This definition may not seem very inclusive of aromantic folks or other people whose primary interest in other partners is sexual.
It's all good
That's why I use CNM/Polyamory as a more inclusive term. What CNM/Polyamorous people have in common is having relationship styles that do not conform to strict culturally normative concepts. CNM/Polyamory folks are not alone in the struggle for acceptance and the need for recognition and protection of relationship rights. Currently (in any place but Somerville, MA) CNM/Polyamorus folks can be fired or evicted legally because of how they structure their relationships.
